Morphine
by WtfSmut
Summary: This is the last straw - Yukio has had it with Rin disobeying him. Now Rin is in the hospital and isn't looking good. Yukio can't handle it, and does something he's sure to regret.


Morphine

Yet another fight – yet another night spent in the emergency room of True Cross Academy's medical department. Your brother, the complete opposite to your calm and collected demeanor, lies in a room at the end of the hall. You, of course, are fine. You were able to escape the mission with only a few stitches on your brow and minor bruises on your arms. There was no need for the doctors to keep watch over your vitals; no, it was the _other_ Okumura that needed that kind of attention.

Your strides become longer and quicker as you recall the blurred and fuzzy events of the night's past. All you can remember seeing was a thick, slimy extremity zooming towards your body after you were flung onto the ground in the middle of a forest. The tip of such an appendage was aimed right for your chest and you fumbled for the gun that landed a few feet away from the impact. The creature that belonged to the tentacle-like arm was reminiscent to that of a blob of green, transparent, jelly – its ten arms waving and lashing out at the surrounding men and woman trained to take on such a hellish beast. The long cylinder jutting out of its flab, below the two black, beady spheres on its face, opened and sucked in air, getting ready to fire its next attack.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to run. You wanted to do _something_. However, your body refused such actions to take place. Your turquoise eyes slammed shut, awaiting the inevitable pain to pierce your ribcage. Surely, at that speed, the elastic gel-like limb would puncture your chest and leave you severely wounded, if not fatally.

Although, the pain never came.

Unless, you were already dead.

Your eyes pried themselves apart, wondering what had stalled the strange octo-demon's onslaught. And there, standing in front of your defenseless form on the ground, was the one man you forbade to come on this mission. His black hair swayed in the slight breeze as a bright blue fire engulfed the outline of his body. A long sword was gripped in his right hand, his left held the scabbard that sealed its power.

Something was wrong, though. Besides the fact that your twin had disregarded your words _again_, you could see through the smudges of dirt and dried sweat on your frames that something wasn't right with your brother.

From his back, the same slimy appendage poked through his skin, just a little ways away from his spine. Blood trickled from the rim of the wound and stained the red-checkered button up shirt he liked to wear on his off days.

"Nii-san…" You called out to him, but he didn't turn around.

The next thing you knew, his flames grew in intensity and he took to the air, lashing at the beast with everything he had.

The creature burned and sizzled. It gave out a keening wail while you just sat there and watched in awe at your demonic twin's power; a power you would never be able to possess. You were content with that fact, though. That power was seen more as a curse, than a gift.

Your footsteps click down the tiled hallway of the medical department, eyes squinting at the memory of your brother falling to the ground, demon defeated, and losing consciousness. No words were exchanged between the two of you. Everything happened so fast.

You're stressed.

You're upset.

You just want to see your brother and chastise him for his actions. How dare he, anyway? He's disregarded your words for the _last time_.

You had never felt so sick in your life then the moment you had to roll your twin on his back and feel the blood run over your palms like a ruby waterfall. The fist-sized hole in his torso revealed the inner workings of your brother's chest – and you wanted to puke right then and there. You gritted your teeth, however, when his healing abilities took over, and slowly began patching the torn muscle and flesh back together.

When you and the other members had arrived at the hospital, tests revealed that Rin was running a fever. The slime from the demon's body had slowed the demonic healing process down and caused an infection to stir within the raven-haired male's body.

He was brought into surgery, patched up quickly, and put on the right kinds of medication to help fight away the spreading bacteria.

You haven't seen him since he was admitted. You were also being taken care of. Your minor wounds were treated, and you were given one dose of an antibiotic for good measure.

But you could not get your mind off of your twin. The anger you felt towards him rippled throughout every nerve, setting them all ablaze with the same passion of your brother's satanic fire. You were just _so sick_ of Rin getting in the way.

He never listened to you. He never obeyed you. Did he even care what you thought? He must not, seeing as he showed up to the exorcist mission anyway.

You hate him.

You _hate_ him.

You _**hate**_ him.

Finally, the specified door you were looking for is within your reach. Without hesitating, you twist the doorknob and open it. The room revealed is dark and ominous. The curtains are closed, allowing the one occupant on the hospital bed to rest peacefully and recover.

You make your way inside, closing the door behind you as soundlessly as possible. But, why should you? You came here to scold your brother, didn't you? _I should've slammed the_ _door_, you think.

Your eyes roam over the still figure lying in the bed, the faint beeping of the heart monitoring proving that your older twin's life still pumped through his veins. The slow rise and fall of Rin's chest is also proof that he still exists in this world.

You look to your right and spy the lamp stationed on the little white stand next to the medical devices. Reaching out a hand, you swiftly yank on the copper beaded cord; light explodes from under the tan shade and illuminates the small area around it.

Rin doesn't stir at all. His slow, steady breathing continues on in the same pattern, as if you weren't in the room at all.

A small chair resting against the left wall catches your attention. In complete disregard for your brother's resting state, you noisily drag the wooden seat over to where you were standing and plop your body down onto it. Of course, your brother still has not caught on to your presence. He always was a heavy sleeper.

In the faint glow of the bedside lamp, you can see a few droplets of sweat forming on Rin's brow. The back of your hand is resting upon your twin's forehead before you even know what you're doing.

After concluding that your brother's temperature is indeed elevated, you spy the electronic devices hooked up to his body. The heart monitor continues to beep in accordance to Rin's bodily functions as your blue eyes read over the chart you obtained from the end of his bed.

Things like "stable heart rate" and "received ten milligrams of _so-and-so_" are all documented on the medical paper, as they should be. You of all people know the process of tending to the injured and the required steps that need to be taken.

_None of this would even be necessary if only he'd listen to me in the first place. _Your anger creeps up your spine again as you dawdle your thoughts around the arrogance of your other half. The clipboard falls to the floor when you willingly release your grip on it, making a loud clamor as it comes into contact with the tiled floor.

A slight whine has your eyes fixing on the only other person in the room. Your eyes meet his glazed, unfocused ones – he's staring right at you.

Your arms crisscross over your chest and you throw the raven-haired delinquent a reprimanding scowl. "Well, Nii-san, are you satisfied now?" Your question is a rhetorical one. "You've disobeyed me for the last time – I'm not standing for this anymore. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Rin just continues to stare at you. His face holds no expression; you'd almost believe he was sleeping again, but with his eyes open. You almost call out to him again, however, his mouth turns upwards into a grin and his eyelids cover half of his cobalt irises. He chuckles and says, "What?"

You sigh. "The mission, Nii-san. I told you to stay home and you didn't. Now you're hurt. Do you think we have the kind of money to pay for your medical bills?"

"Ducks have bills." He states, as if it's relevant to the conversation.

"Nii-san, are you even listening to me?" You're beginning to get agitated. You knew your brother never listened, but this was ridiculous.

"And chickens have beaks, but can't fly… poor chickens…" Rin's face is now a sorrowful one.

You pinch the bridge of your nose and cast your look sideways. One of two bags attached to a long metal pole reads "Morphine" across the top. A long tube connected to the bottom of the bag is also connected by a needle in your brother's arms. A subtle, harsh laugh leaves your throat. "Of course. Why am I going to try and have a conversation with you if you're all hopped up on drugs?" An angry stare is the only expression on your face before you stand up and turn to leave.

"Wait." You hear Rin call. You turn to look over your shoulder at him, not too interested in the nonsense you're expecting him to spill. "The monster… he didn't hurt Yukio, did he?"

Your body turns around fully, so you can face Rin. "No, the monster did not hurt Yukio." You humour your brother, though spitefully – angrily. "You are the one who is hurt."

Rin smiles again, making you want to smack him. Why does he look so happy, especially in a state like his? Little is known about demonic healing abilities by the medical staff, and even less about certain substances that can slow the process down – who knows how long Rin could be incapacitated, or how long the infection will last?

"As long as Yukio is okay, then I'm okay."

Your eyes snap back to the glazed ones of your brother. "You are _not_ okay. Your body is fighting off a serious infection, and your healing ability is not proceeding as fast as it should be." Anger strains your voice. "You were told to stay home."

"I don't mind. I have to protect Yukio."

Your hands slam down on the edge of the mattress, effectively rocking Rin's form a tad. "No you don't." You ground out between clenched teeth. "Stop thinking you have to protect me all the time! We're not children anymore – it's time to grow up!"

A laugh bubbles up from the injured male's throat. "Yukio is my little brother. I'll always fight for him."

"_Stop it_." You hiss. "Stop saying those things…" You let your head hang low, looking down at the floor as you feel your eyes start to sting. You fist the hospital sheets, refusing to glance up at the unfocused and hazy irises of your twin, and choke back whatever emotion threatens to seep from your delicate façade. "You're hurt, Nii-san. You're hurt because I faltered during battle. If I hesitate or fumble, then I deserve the fatal blows delivered by my enemies – I deserve to be a victim." You raise your head and look mournfully to your brother. "You don't deserve to be a victim because of my lack of action."

A weak hand touches the side of your face. It's warm and dotted with sweat; proof of the body's battle with the foreign bacteria. The hand tries to rub comfortingly against your cheek, however it presses too hard and rubs too roughly to be considered soothing. The jester is consoling nonetheless. You feel your head tilt into the palm, even if your mind is screaming at you to stop. _Don't do this_, it insists. _You cannot indulge. Control yourself, you freak._ You feel your brows sink downward and you pull away from the warmth. The racing of your heart slows down, as if disconnected from a vital source of life. The submerged feelings are pushed back down beneath the surface, tucked away from the all-seeing eyes known as "the truth."

"Yukio is my teeny tiny brother." Rin lightly teases. "Teeny tiny Yukio." His voice then grows a tad serious. "He's my only family. I'll protect him with everything I have." You squeeze your eyes tight and try to block out the comforting words that raise the desire within your sick, twisted heart. "I'll make all the monsters disappear, and I'll beat down any of the bullies that make fun of him." You stand straight up and turn to leave – you can't take any more of your brother's heartfelt confessions.

But why can't you?

Why can't you accept his caring affections?

… Is it because he can't, or won't, accept _your_ feelings towards _him_?

That must be it. He would never accept that growing pit of dark lust that pines within your very soul; calling out your brother's name in a silent scream in the middle of the night with one hand tucked tightly in your own boxers.

You're sick.

You're fowl.

You're _anything_ but someone worth caring for.

With your back turned on Rin like you've done so many times before, you head for the door. The cold metal handle touches the skin of your palm – it matches the temperature of your personality. Just as you're about to twist it, a final sentence is uttered into the darkened room.

"Yukio is my brother and I'll always love him."

Your hand trembles on the knob. _Turn the handle and go already!_ You chastise yourself. _Get out and don't come back!_

The spit in your mouth thickens with want. Your knees wobble and your mouth twists into a strained grimace.

The next thing you are aware of is the click of the door's lock being pushed in and your body hovering over your injured twin's, supported by all four limbs.

"Nii-san…" Your voice is strained along with your thought process. Rin's unfocused, glazed eyes swoop from left to right, searching your face which is now inches away, as if he's blind. Your heart is racing again, and you can feel your self-control slipping. The words from minutes ago ring in your head, especially the last four, which seem to be broadcasted louder than the rest.

You're straddling one of Rin's legs and looking into his blue spheres.

Why is his face surprised? Why does he look shocked? You whisper his name again, hoping to calm him. You pet from the top of his head to the side of his face in a soothing manner. "Forgive me." You plead.

Your lips are on his. It's a slight peck, barely making contact. Then, desire washes out the remaining consciousness that had kept your actions stable and within boundaries. They move in a testing motion before slipping into a rhythmic wave, desperately coaxing the man beneath you to join in on this forbidden delicacy.

Rin manages a whine that gets stuck in his throat. His head pushes back into the comfortable, white fluff situated behind his head. Noticing your brother's hesitance and negative response, you cup the sides of his face and hold him still. The taste of your brother's lips is dry and clammy, but warm. You try and wiggle your tongue between his lips, only to have his weak arms come to your shoulders and try to push you away.

This saddens you. This angers you.

Your fingers grip the sides of his mouth and squeeze until he has no choice but to open up. In your twin's weakened state, it's very easy to manipulate his body.

This was what you were afraid of.

This is what you were trying to avoid.

However, your anger clouded your judgment, and you stormed into Rin's room regardless of your disgusting fear.

Your tongue slides into Rin's mouth; you poke the tip of the slick appendage against the opposite one, encouraging movement. You tease and test and listen to the whines erupting from below. Rin closes his eyes, to your displeasure, but you let it go as you're more interested in mapping out your twin's oral cavern.

And you almost jump for joy when that reluctant muscle twitches to life and attempts to mimic your movements. Slowly letting go of his face, you grasp at the hands still pushing on your shoulders and place them on the mattress while your mouth leads the way in this seductive, yet filthy dance.

Rin whimpers again and tries to shake loose. You, too, feel the frantic need for air and break the forceful kiss that leaves both sets of lips swollen. Listening to Rin's hectic intakes of breath, warmth spreads throughout your torso and settles deep within your groin. Wasting no time, your head dips to a pointed ear. "You taste so good, Nii-san." You whisper hotly and lick the stiff cartilage.

One of your hands finds its way to your twin's chest, on the opposite side of his wound. You begin rubbing the unseen nipple through the fabric of the hospital gown. Fingers tweak and pull until it pokes into the clothing. Rin gasps at the sensation, face unsure and full of worry.

You notice, of course. Your eyes haven't left his face since this began. "It's okay." You breathe. "_It's okay._" Whether you're saying that to Rin or yourself, you aren't sure.

Suddenly, you yank down the thin thermal blanket covering half of Rin's body and gently hike the hospital gown up until it rests below your brother's chin. Thank God these gowns don't have backs, or else this would be much more difficult.

Your mouth is devouring Rin's skin in an instant, and he flinches at the contact. You think for a moment if you are putting Rin in pain, but you note how you are gentle around his gauze-wrapped injury, and how he's probably on enough pain meds to sedate a small elephant. So, you push on; you lap at the sweaty skin in the middle of his chest before you begin sucking on the same pert nipple you were toying with earlier.

The raven-haired male moans, face grimacing, and eyes roaming the room. The leg situated between your twin's thighs starts moving back and forth, causing the demon halfbreed to throw his head back onto the pillows and let out a powerful moan at the sensation on his manhood.

You cease all stimulation and look your brother in his eyes. Placing a finger in front of your mouth, you shush your brother – his eyes search your face and he opens to speak, yet you shush him again, to which he promptly closes his mouth. You don't want anyone hearing these sounds.

_God_, you mutter to yourself, _he's just like a child. He can barely register what I'm doing to him._ You shake your head and sit back on your heels, closing your eyes in the process. _I need to stop_. _I need to stop this right now. It's gone far enough._

You run a hand through your chocolate-brown hair and take a steady breath. But when you open your eyes, the sight you're greeted with doesn't help your case.

A pink blush has formed on Rin's cheeks, just below his unsteady, glazed eyes. He's looking right at you as he's panting, hands twitching at the sides of his head. And with the gown hiked up all it can go, revealing his bare chest and boxers, your last bit of restraint leaves you.

You quickly undo your Exorcist coat and throw it behind you. Kisses are trailed down and across your brother's chest, nibbling and sucking on certain places. Just as you're about to bite down on a perfectly round hip, you hesitate. _No, I must not leave any visible marks._ The decision is regrettable, but you figure it's for the best. You instead opt for delving into that delicious orifice known as Rin's mouth again. He's much more compliant this time, yet still sloppy and uncoordinated.

You reach down and palm at the prized package covered by thin cloth and are delighted to find it hardened, just like your own. You then knead it and relish in the little moans and whines vibrating into your mouth. Cupping the back of the drugged-up demon's head, you pull your faces closer together and become a little more vehement in your mouth-fucking. Soon, you're panting and whining just as your brother is.

Because you can't take it anymore.

You can't endure it any longer.

You love him.

You _love _him.

You _**love**_ him.

And you need more.

Your length is straining against your damned formal pants. You need to let it breath, for Christ's sake. Again, you break the kiss and almost rip the button off as you undo the opening of the fabric. And _**God**_ does it feel good when you reach in and reveal your stiff length to your brother.

_**To your brother.**_

You sick, demented, obscene, loose, perverted, insane fool.

You're once again stuck between indulging or refraining. Do you push forward, or fall backwards? Continue, or let it die?

Rin isn't even in the right state of mind, and here you are taking full advantage of that fact. You worthless piece of shit.

Your cock twitches at the dirty thoughts you're having about your twin. You want to yank down his boxers and reveal his length just as you have done.

So you do.

And holy shit, if it didn't take all of your willpower not to come right then and there; Rin's length springs forward and he gasps as the air hits his exposed crotch. You grab ahold of it, the desire overpowering your reasoning abilities. Without a second thought, you begin pumping the length for all its worth.

You observe the grimace of your brother's face, hear the want laced through each cry he emits, and the way the muscles in his thighs clench and jerk with each upward thrust of your hand.

After a few moments, you realize how uncomfortable a dry handjob is and lean your head downwards. Licking and nibbling your brother's shaft, goosebumps raise on your arms and legs at the sinfully sweet moans leaving Rin's mouth.

It encourages you to take more in.

Now you're sucking him deep within your mouth, forcing yourself to gag on its thickness – tears race to the surface of your eyes, your nose begins to run, and your saliva comes in big, thick quantities. But you'd do anything to hear more of those glorious sounds, wouldn't you?

You masochist. You warped, deviant bastard.

You look up through your tears and note how Rin's head is thrown way back onto the pillows and how his hands are gripping said object, nails digging in from the involuntary tension being put on his body.

You can't take it anymore. You grip your own length and begin pumping in time with your mouth. You bury Rin's manhood deep in your throat, causing him to give a strained whimper. You believe you might throw up if you continue on like this. And you're sure your face isn't quite looking its best.

You faintly wonder if you're doing it right – you've never given a blowjob before. And you've got an inkling that your teeth are scraping just a tad bit too much against your twin's glorious skin.

You wonder if Rin has ever received oral.

You stop thinking like that, feeling territorial jealousy settle into your heart.

Your speed increases on both your brother's cock and your own.

Suddenly, something fills your mouth as your twin sobs, orgasm hitting him finally. You choke on the bitter substance, but force yourself to swallow it, or most of it, anyway.

Your own orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks; it's almost painful. But the sight of Rin so wholly satisfied (and you being the one to bring him such pleasure) sends you over the edge. Since you're straddling one of Rin's legs still, your seed shoots out onto his knee and thigh. It feels so good you almost want to cry, but instead you bite your lip in restraint.

Everything is a little blurry after that. You are only faintly aware of your moving form, giving long and restful pants, as you enter the bathroom, wad up some paper towels and wet them before returning to your brother's side. You wipe your essence from your twin's leg, giving a pained scowl at the humiliating state you put him in.

You pull the hospital gown back down, eyes watering from the overwhelming guilt you're now feeling. Your stomach rumbles with nausea and you cup a hand over your mouth to keep from making an even bigger fool of yourself. Just minutes ago, you were greedily lapping and sucking at a stiff piece of flesh, as if stopping would mean certain death. The aftertaste in your mouth is bitter and not too pleasant. It's proof of your sinful act; proof of your failure.

Two failures in a matter of hours.

You sure are some piece of work.

Lifting the blanket back up is the last thing you have to do. You tuck the blankets into the crease between Rin's body and the hospital mattress. Then, a hand comes to rest at your elbow and it startles you a bit.

Your eyes come to rest on Rin's face, and you stop dead cold.

He's smiling.

_Damn it,_ he's smiling again.

Why is he smiling?

You want to hit him – or rather yourself. You wish someone would just barge in and beat the ever living shit out of you, because that's what you deserve. You've caused Rin to become a victim again, because of your actions. You are no good. You are pathetic.

Rin's hand on your cheek snaps you out of your self-assualt, and you glare at him through the water accumulating on the edge of your eyes. His face is one of utter peace and satisfaction. "Yukio…" He smiles around his whisper, then allows his half-lidded eyes to fully close.

His soft breathing gives way to his sleeping state, and you allow the tears to spill now that no one is watching. With slow, lethargic movements, you roughly scrape the tears from your face, pull your heavy black Exorcist jacket back onto your body, and make your way to the door. This time, you forcefully yank the knob open, hearing the quiet click as the lock releases, and you exit the room.

* * *

"Okumura-kun, your brother is refusing to receive any medical treatment." A female personal from the medical staff reports to you later that evening. "He's removed all of the drips from his arm and is demanding to be released at once."

You haven't visited your brother since the incident – hell, you'd be happy if you never had to face him again. But seeing as you were his technical guardian in your late-father's absence, you had no choice but to stick around, less anything important come up that needed immediate consent.

You look to the short, brown-haired woman in her white outfit as you set the pot of free coffee back on its stand. "What do you mean?" You ask, and bring the Styrofoam cup up to your lips and blow away the white steam.

"I'm not entirely sure, Okumura-kun. He says the medications make him 'see weird things.'"

Your heart feels like it dropped into the pit of your stomach. Trying to act nonchalant, you ditch the entirety of your untouched cup into the garbage, then make your way past the nurse. "I will have a talk with my brother. Thank you for informing me."

Your heart is racing again. Your strides are long and quick, while still trying to maintain a fluid, unrushed flow.

It's almost like this morning when you first visited your brother's room. You are split between wanting to see Rin, and not wanting to run in the opposite direction. Your body fills with anxious adrenaline, causing your knees to wobble a tad.

What does he remember?

Has he told any of the medical staff?

You thought your brother was too far gone and too sleep deprived to remember any details of your lewd act – or perhaps you were just _hoping_ he wouldn't remember. How coherent _was_ Rin when you committed such a deed?

Your stomach churns and you want to puke. Fear almost causes your legs to give out.

You don't even bother knocking when you enter Rin's room minutes later.

"I said get out – I don't want any of that medical shit!" A harsh voice cuts the air as you walk inside. Another nurse stands far away from the hospital bed, chart clutched tightly to her chest, clearly frightened by the demonic halfbreed. His blue eyes, so much clearer and more aware then hours before, lock with your own. "Yukio…" He calls out when he sees that it is you, then quickly averts his gaze, staring down at his hands planted limply in his lap. His face is twisted in an ashamed grimace.

"Nii-san, is that anyway to speak to someone who has been caring for you?" You hide your discomfort behind a chastisement. "These people aren't here to babysit, they are here to make sure you get better."

"I'm fine. I just want to leave." Rin's voice is low and devoid of any emotion.

"Okumura-kun, your brother's vitals do seem stable," the female nurse states, looking down at the clipboard, "however we would like to keep him just one more night. He still complains of chest pains, but will not consent to any more medication. We just want to be one-hundred percent positive that his body has flushed out all of the foreign bacteria."

You look back to Rin, who is still fixating his attention on his hands. "Is your wound still bothering you, Nii-san?"

"It's fine."

"If it's still bothering you, then we can't be certain if the infection has been fully cleared. You'll be staying here one more night."

"Like hell I am." Rin finally looks up to meet your irritated eyes. "I'm not taking any more medicine."

"And why is that?" You cross your arms, not really wanting to ask the question – but it would seem suspicious if you didn't.

A harsh laugh leaves your twin's lips. "You wouldn't understand." He turns his head toward the giant window, curtains pulled back and revealing the sun setting behind the far-off mountains. "Let's just say they stress me out."

You're about to speak again, however the black-haired nurse cuts in. "Okumura-kun, I was going over your brother's charts from a few house ago, and they does seem to show some complications." Your eyes fall on her tiny form. And you notice a piece of paper in her hand, about two feet in length. It's creased in certain spots, pointing to its previous position of being folded up. The lines on the paper, which run lengthwise, start off in steady rhythmic arches – but then they become erratic, some going higher than others, and are closer together. "According to the heart monitor, between twelve and twelve-thirty p.m., your brother's heart-rate was perfectly fine, however, around twelve-forty-five, it picked up for some reason for a good twenty minutes. Stress is evident at that time, but we cannot conclude exactly why. Do you think the medication could have adverse effects on his demonic nature?"

You swallow the thick saliva that had accumulated in your throat. Sweat beads on your forehead under your bangs. "It is possible." You finally say, mostly answering because you have to. Observing your brother's uncomfortable posture, you look back to the nurse and say, "Could we please have a moment? I'd like to speak with my brother alone." You really want to know what he remembers. The suspense is almost painful.

With a simple nod, the unnamed medical woman exits the room without protest. After all, who would suspect the young genius Okumura Yukio of doing any wrong?

The tension in the air thickens with her absence, and you aren't sure how to start off the conversation. You, instead, pull a chair over to the side of the hospital bed, feeling a strong dread of déjà vu pass your mind at the action.

Rin still refuses to acknowledge your presence as you seat yourself down, crossing one leg over the other in a professional manner. The setting sun casts an orange glow over the room, giving a warming feeling to this otherwise cold situation.

Finally, you speak. "Nii-san… what kind of 'weird things' did you see?" Your question is blunt and to the point. You can no longer take the stress of not-knowing.

Again, your brother just laughs and repeats, "You wouldn't understand." He then adds, "I, myself, am a freak, so it's only natural for my brain to come up with some freaky shit." There is silence in the room after that. You are not sure where else to go with this conversation.

"Don't you at least want to talk about it?" Your question is stupid; even you don't want to talk about it. "It might make you feel better."

"Nothing in the world will make me feel better about it."

You sigh lightly. A cup perched on the stand next to the bed catches your attention and you grab it between your fingers. After spying the two thick, blue pills inside, you ask, "Is this the medicine you're refusing?" Rin nods his head solemnly. "You only need to stay overnight. Just one more dose of this junk and you'll be home – good as new." Your comforting attempts are asinine to say the least. But God knows you don't know how to fix what you've done. Because of you, your brother is refusing vital treatment. If he gets worse, it'll be because of _**you**_.

"I'm not taking that junk." Rin says.

You stand up bring the cup to the side of your twin's face. "Nii-san, take the medicine." You'll be damned if Rin takes any more damage because of you.

Rin turns and looks you dead in the eye. "_No_."

"I said take it!" You grab the sides of Rin's mouth in your hands and try prying his mouth open – the action sends another jolt of déjà vu through your mind and a mental image of a reluctant, drugged up Rin refusing your oral ministrations floats through your thoughts. You immediately let go, noting your brother's wide, fearful eyes as he yanks his head away from your grasp. You're pretty sure your face is the same. Although, you try play the situation off. "I just want you to get better." You state.

Rin's face falls into a regretful expression, and he stares down at his hands once again. He shakes his head slowly. After a few seconds, he reaches a hand upwards and plucks the cup from your hands, to your surprise. He eyes the two pills inside, then looks up to your form. "I don't regret protecting you, Yukio." He says suddenly. "I'm glad I could save you, because that's what brothers do for one another." He tips his head back as the cup follows and the two pills glide into his mouth. He swallows them roughly, without the assistance of water. You only stand there, watching with curiosity at his sudden change of heart. Rin then looks back to you, eyes red and moist around the edges. His last sentence has you reeling back a step. "You're my brother and I'll always love you."

You grimace.

You tremble.

You spin on your heels without another word and all but sprint towards the door. You swiftly yank it open, step outside, and close it.

You are unaware of your brother's eyes on your form as you leave the room. You are unaware of how he lays back down slowly on his pillows as you almost run down the hall; trying to outrun the lust and desire those words leave in your soul.

You are unaware of the scowl Rin gives at the pain his wound gives him from moving too much – but the fact you are most unaware of is the moment when Rin reaches for the top of his hospital gown and hooks his index finger into the collar. He pulls it down until a specific spot is visible on his chest, something he has already done before.

A little red mark, rashy in appearance, sits almost above his heart. You are unaware of the hickey you had left on your brother, but he is fully aware of it. He releases his hold on the gown and lays his head back against the pillows. He lets the tears spill from his eyes, taking deep, steady breathes again, trying to calm himself.

"I'll always love you." He repeats to the air as he is left all alone. "_Always_."

* * *

**Author's Note:**Wasn't really sure how to end this story, but wanted an almost-canon situation. This is what I got.

Anyways, review this. It makes me happy!

((I need more angst stories))


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